Think about your life and the
people that are apart of it. I imagine most everyone can think of that one
person (maybe more) that completely drain you. The friendship you have with
them is exhausting. It’s you constantly giving, and them constantly taking.
It’s you always listening, them always talking. It’s you always putting forth effort, while they sit back. If you can relate I’m sure you’re thinking
about how frustrating this friendship is.
I’m definitely able to say that I
have this person in my life and God has really convicted me of my attitude
towards them lately. I decided to reread Timothy Keller’s book, “King’s Cross”
and it is honestly one of the best books I’ve ever read. It’s a book all about
the life of Jesus. Chapter 12 hit
me like a ton of bricks.
Tim Keller talks about the Ransom
Jesus had to pay in order to save us. He poses the question:
“Why did Jesus
have to go through suffering into death? Why did he have to be a ransom?”
He answers this by saying, “Jesus
didn’t have to die despite God’s love; he had to die because of God’s love. And
it had to be this way because all life-changing love is substitutionary
sacrifice.”
He proceeds to say,
“Think about
it. If you love a person whose life is all put together and has no major needs,
it cost you nothing. It’s delightful. But if you ever try to love somebody who
has needs, someone who is in trouble or who is persecuted or emotionally
wounded, it’s going to cost you. You can’t love them without taking a hit
yourself. A transfer of some kind is required, so that somehow their troubles,
their problems, transfer to you.”
“The only way they’re going to
start filling up emotionally is if somebody loves them, and the only way to
love them is to let yourself be emotionally drained. Some of your fullness is
going to have to go into them, and you have to empty out to some degree. If you
hold on to your emotional comfort and simply avoid those people, they will
sink. The only way to love them is through substitutionary sacrifce.”
But this pointed me to an even
bigger realization and that was the substituationary sacrifice Christ made for
my sinful soul. God sacrificed the life of HIS SON in order save me. God
displayed his perfect love by making this sacrifice. Jesus redeemed my life by
giving up His own. I stand completely in awe of this truth and like they book
says, it’s truly life-changing. This kind of love seeps in and completely
transforms any life that it touches.
Not shortly after finishing the book, at RUF Jason Sterling did a sermon that hit the same point. He said,
"Start moving towards that person and bandage their wounds. If we ever love people we are suppose to know it's going to be messy- it will cost you something. Jesus calls us to go to these places to love these people. A sure sign that Jesus is at work is that we start getting messy and run towards the people that everyone else is running from. Run to the broken, not away. This is the heart of being a Christian. Start loving people in a costly way. The good news of the gospel is that our very brokenness is what turn's God's heart to our own."
The next Sunday I went with my friend to her hometown church, Independence Presbyterian in Memphis, TN and got to hear one of my favorite preachers Richie Sessions. His sermon was on the Lord's supper and he also spent a majority of his sermon talking about substitutionary sacrifice.
God has shown me this is the root of the gospel, this life-changing love that God lavishes on all that He calls His own.
By God’s grace I have a new
perspective of the friendships that are so tiring. Instead I see it as God giving me an
opportunity to demonstrate this very substitutionay love. He’s giving me a
chance to love people in the same way that he loves me. What better way to
be share the love of Christ? My hope and prayer is that I’ll be able to love people
in this new light. I need to love people with a subsitutionary love.
What do your relationships with people cost you?
-Mary Claire
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